Cows Don't Climb Trees

A Southern Short Story

Summer days in southwest Louisiana were generally unbearable. Locals often joked that a vacation in Hell would be a welcome escape from blistering July and August heat. Tommy knew this would be one of those days. It was only eight o’clock in the morning and already sweat was trickling down his nose, even while standing in the shade of a large oak tree. He could only imagine what the rest of the day would bring. He was particularly worried because his father had just assigned the day’s chore to him and his siblings.

Tommy’s family lived on a modest thirteen-acre farm where they raised and harvested corn, potatoes, and string beans. Two cows, a Shetland pony, and several chickens, also roamed the parts of the land that had been cleared. Unfortunately, much of the terrain was completely inaccessible, overgrown with thick briars and high brush. The family had moved to the property only a year prior. While much was done in that time, several acres remained uncultivated. The task assigned to Tommy and his siblings was to spend the day clearing additional sections.

Tommy was ten years old at the time, and admittedly when his father delivered their instructions, he was only partially paying attention. Much of what his father said he didn’t hear, or he didn’t want to hear. Some of what got through wasn’t all that interesting. He heard, “Haul the brush and the trees over to the burn pile,” he heard, “Listen to Bill and follow his orders,” and he heard, “I want it done by the time I get home, or else.” It wasn’t until the “or else” that Tommy decided he should focus on the message at hand. Unfortunately, as was typically the case, he was a bit late for the party. The important part had already been delivered.

When the conversation ended Tommy’s father climbed into the old Colony Park station wagon and sped off down the dirt road that fronted their property, leaving a plume of dust in his wake. It was then that Bill started barking orders. Bill was Tommy’s oldest sibling at seventeen. As the oldest, he possessed a few notable characteristics that the rest of the boys wanted no part of. He was responsible, obedient, and a hard worker–the precise reasons he was typically left in charge. Unfortunately, those were the exact qualities that created friction with the other three. Tommy, eleven-year-old Joe, and thirteen-year-old Harold were none of those things.

Bill repeated the instructions. Since Tommy wasn’t paying attention during the first announcement, he was happy for the second chance. Initially, he listened with real intent. However, the more he heard, the more he wished he hadn’t heard. The chore that was being described sounded a lot like work. What the heck? This was supposed to be a summer “vacation.” Instead, it was turning into a summer work program. Tommy was seriously contemplating a rebellion when he remembered the “or else.” He wasn’t sure what “or else” really implied, but it didn’t sound pleasant. Previous such statements were often associated with negative consequences, like losing toys, being grounded, or worse. Tommy dutifully followed the others to a nearby shed, put on a pair of work gloves, and grabbed a shovel.

Continued...



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